Could it be any harder
by Caz Malfoy
Summary: Crossover with CSI:Miami Speed was in New York with Danny when he got called back to work. Spoilers for Lost son! classed as tragedy because... you know!


Disclaimer: The lyrics used belong to The Calling and no profit is being made from their reproduction.

Spoliers "Lost Son" and "Blink"

Could it be any harder

Danny stretched out lazily, feeling the covers moving slightly against his naked skin. He yawned and leant up on one arm, looking down at his lover. He couldn't believe that he had met the man that was lying next to him. Part of him was still not convinced that everything wasn't a dream, that some one was going to wake him up and tell him that he had been imagining things.

"You're thinking too loud," a sleepy voice murmured.

Danny grinned down at him, leaning down to place a good morning kiss on his lips - morning breath be damned. "I'm sorry," he whispered, bringing his left hand up to caress Tim's cheek.

"What were you thinking about?" Tim asked, turning on his side as well and looking at Danny curiously.

"Just how amazing you are," Danny replied with a smile.

Tim rolled his eyes. "I'm not amazing," he argued.

"You are to me," Danny said.

"Are you going all girly on me?" Tim questioned with a smirk on his face.

Danny laughed and kissed him again, "Of course not." He laughed harder when Tim pushed him onto his back, straddling his waist.

Tim ran his hands down Danny's chest, his fingers tracing over the muscles of Danny's abdomen as he kissed him passionately. Tim's mouth moved from Danny's mouth, trailing kisses down his torso heading towards his cock which was already hard and leaking with pre-come.

Danny moaned when he felt Tim's hot breath on his cock. Before Tim's mouth could come in contact with his erection a phone rang from somewhere across the room.

"Is that yours?" Tim asked sitting back on his heels and looking down at Danny who looked frustrated at the interruption.

Danny pushed himself up on his hands, listening to the ring tone. "I don't think so," he shook his head. "It doesn't sound like it," he added as Tim got up and crossed the room.

He watched as Tim bent down, pulling his cell out. "Who is it?" Danny asked when Tim frowned as he read the caller display.

"Horatio," Tim muttered.

"You're not on call this week, are you?" Danny asked. "I thought you said you were on vacation."

"I'm not on call," Tim assured him before flipping the phone open and answering the call.

'_Speed,'_ Horatio Caine's voice addressed him. '_I'm sorry to bother you during your vacation.'_

"I know it can't be anything but an emergency, H," Tim sighed, threading a hand through his hair.

'_Unfortunately you're right,' _Horatio agreed. _'A boat has just crashed into a bridge. This is big, Speed. We need all hands on desk. I've had to call Eric back in as well.'_

"You mean you want me to come back to Miami?" Tim asked in horror, looking at Danny.

'_Back to Miami?' _Horatio repeated. '_Where are you?'_

"I'm on vacation, H," Tim sighed. "I'm in New York City," he answered. "Can you give me a minute?" he asked.

'_Of course.'_

Tim covered the mouthpiece with his hand and looked towards Danny who looked confused. "Horatio's calling in the entire team," Tim told him. "What should I tell him?"

Danny sighed and lowered his head. "Tell him that you'll be on the first plane back to Miami."

"But-," Tim started to argue.

Danny looked up at him. "Tim, you're needed back home. You know as well as I do that we can get called in whenever, whether we're on vacation or not."

Tim frowned but the firm look that Danny gave him made Tim uncover the mouth piece and tell Horatio that he would be on the next plane back to Miami. "Okay," Tim said once he had snapped the phone closed again. "Why did I just tell my boss that I'd come off my vacation early?" he demanded, tossing his phone back into his bag.

"Because you're a good person who knows when his friends need help," Danny replied, standing up and standing in front of Tim.

"I can't believe this is the first time we've been together in the month we've been seeing each other and I go, get called in," Tim grumbled.

"It's okay," Danny whispered, looping his arms around Tim's neck. "You can make it up to me later," he grinned, kissing Tim passionately. "Come on," he said, "lets take a shower and I'll take you to airport."

x

Danny looked up from the report he was studying when he heard footsteps coming down the corridor. He could tell that they were heels and he was soon proven correct when he saw Stella Bonasera walking past the room.

He stood up and jogged after her. They chatted for a few moments about the latest homicide to have been called in, before she reminded him that the job never stopped.

"Tell me about it," he muttered under his breath as he walked back to his desk. As he sat down he checked his cell phone display. A sigh escaped his lips when he saw that he hadn't had a SMS message or a voicemail message from Tim. He knew that Tim would now be back in Miami, working whatever case had caused Horatio to pull Tim off of vacation at such short notice, therefore not giving Tim chance to get in touch with Danny and let him know that he arrived back safely.

He got called on to join Mac's investigation pretty soon which gave him something other than Tim to focus on. Tim eventually called him, just as they were heading out to search their newest crime scene - a trash barge. The Miami CSI assured him that he was perfectly okay and apologized several times for not calling sooner, before promising to call Danny after him and Horatio had visited a jewellery store that had some kind of link to the case.

Danny didn't hear from Tim while him and Aiden processed the barge. After he had found the camera that could give them some kind of clue about where their victim had been they headed back to the lab. While Aiden drove them across the city he dialled Tim's number. It rang for a short while before it went through to his voicemail. Not bothering to leave a message, he cancelled the call and concentrated on the case once more.

By the time they had solved the case Danny was exhausted. Everyone in the lab had been working extra hard, trying to catch the killer before any more innocent women lost their lives and the lack of sleep was starting to catch up with the blue eyed New Yorker by the time he stripped down to his underwear and fell onto his bed, falling asleep almost instantly.

He was woken a few hours later by the shrill, high ringing of his cell phone. He groaned and rummaged around on the floor for where he had thrown his suit jacket. "Hello?" he answered groggily, not bothering to look at the caller ID.

"Danny?" a familiar voice asked.

Danny frowned, trying to place the voice. "Who is this?" he questioned.

"Horatio Caine," the person on the other end of the line answered. "Is this Danny Messer? From New York?" he asked.

"Yeah," Danny replied. "Is everything alright?" Danny asked, wondering why Tim's boss would be calling him.

"You were the last person Tim called on his cell phone," Horatio replied, "it seems like he's called you a lot," he added. "I didn't know you two were friends," he said sadly.

"_Were _friends?" Danny repeated, feeling nervousness creep in. "Sir, what's wrong? Did something happen to Tim?" he demanded.

He heard Horatio sigh and he just knew that something bad had happened. "I'm sorry, Danny," Horatio said regretfully. "But earlier today, Tim and I were involved in a shooting."

Danny could have sworn that his heart skipped a beat when he heard what Horatio was telling him. "Is Tim okay? Was he injured?" he questioned urgently.

"Danny," Horatio said and the blond could tell that the older man was fighting back tears, "I'm afraid Tim was shot in the chest. I tried to save him but couldn't," Horatio's voice broke slightly and Danny heard him take a few breaths in an attempt to compose himself. "I'm so sorry, Danny. I'm assuming you were the reason he was up in New York when I called?"

Danny nodded his before cursing himself when he realised that Horatio couldn't see him. "Y-Yeah," he whispered, tears falling as he registered what Horatio was saying. "I-I can't believe this," he stammered to himself, clutching his stomach. He felt like was going to literally be sick. "Who-," he took a deep breath. "Did you catch the bastard that did it?" he snarled, feeling anger towards the person who had dared to take Tim away from him.

"I killed him," Horatio assured him, sounding pleased with himself that he had, at least partially, avenged his colleague's death.

"Good," Danny said firmly. "Thank you," he added, his voice taking on a softer tone.

"I assume that you'll be attending his funeral?" Horatio said.

"Of course," Danny replied, there was no way that he was going to not say goodbye to his lover. "When is it?"

"Two days."

"I'll be there," Danny swore.

Danny and Horatio spoke for a short while longer before they said their goodbyes. Danny put the phone down and stared across the room sadly. He felt a wave of sadness over come him and he couldn't help bursting into tears. He wiped his hand across the back of his eyes as he curled into a ball, with his face buried into the pillow that Tim's head had been resting on not long before. He took a deep breath, breathing in Tim's scent and found that more tears fell as he remembered what his lover had smelt like.

Danny stirred a short while later, he must have cried himself back to sleep. He knew that his rest hadn't been peaceful. His mind had been filled with images of Tim lying on the cold floor, his blood oozing everywhere, staining the floor a dark shade of red. When he opened his eyes once more he found that he felt more exhausted than when he had returned home from work.

He managed to pull himself up and stumble into the bathroom. He grimaced at his reflection. There were black circles around his eye sockets and the whites of his eyes were streaked with red. He knew that there was no way to hide that he had been crying so he didn't even bother to attempt it. He merely splashed cold water on his face, to wash away the trails his tears had left behind and to try and wake himself up.

The building was practically empty when Danny arrived. Practically all of the NYPD nightshift had retired for the day. Most labs were devoid of people, save for the occasional hard worker that chose to do overtime. Danny knew that, even though it was an hour before their shift should start, Mac would be in his office already, pouring over case files.

Just as expected when Danny arrived at the office, the former Marine was sitting behind his desk, staring intently at the case file that was in front of him. He raised his hand and knocked lightly on the door. Mac started slightly and looked up. If it had been any other day, Danny would have thought that the look of surprise on the older man's face was comical, but Danny was hardly in the mood to even think about joking around with his supervisor as he was beckoned into the room.

"You're in awfully early this morning, Danny," Mac commented, indicating that Danny should sit down in one of the chairs opposite him. Danny didn't reply, he merely nodded his head as he took the seat offered by the Marine. "Are you okay?" Mac asked in concern when he saw how depressed Danny appeared. Danny sighed and shook his head, lifting his face up to Mac who drew in a breath in surprise. "What's wrong?" Mac asked, concern very clear in his voice as he got up. He moved around his desk and took the seat next to Danny.

Danny took a deep breath and willed down the tears that were threatening to spill again. "I just got a call from Horatio Caine," he whispered, looking down at his hands. "When he came up here with that case a few weeks ago, I got talking to a CSI from Miami. Tim Speedle. Horatio just called and told me that… they were caught in a shooting and Tim took a round to the chest," he broke off with a sob. He looked away from Mac, ashamed that he hadn't been able to stop himself from crying in front of his mentor.

Mac's eyes widened in surprise. "Were you two close?" he asked quietly.

Danny nodded his head. "We got to talking," Danny whispered, "and got really close. He came up here to visit," he sighed and looked down at his hands again, "but Horatio called him a while ago and called him back to Miami. He said that he was going to come back up so that we could chat some more."

Sympathy washed across Mac's face as he listened to what Danny was telling him. He knew that there was more to what the young man was saying. He recognized the reaction; Danny was going through the same thing he had gone through when he found out that his wife, Claire, had been in the towers when the planes had hit them. He didn't say anything about it to Danny; if the blond didn't want Mac to know the truth about his and Tim's relationship then he wouldn't push it.

"When's the funeral?" Mac asked quietly.

"Two days," Danny replied dully.

"Would you like me to go with you?" Mac offered.

"I can go?" Danny asked, looking at Mac in surprise.

"Of course, you can," Mac said. "I'm not a cold hearted bastard, Danny. I know how painful it is to…" he took a deep breath, willing down the memories of Claire that were threatening to resurface, "lose someone you're close to. You can take off as much time as you need."

Danny looked at him gratefully and felt the corners of his mouth turn up in a small smile. "Thank you," he murmured.

"Do you want me to come with you?" Mac repeated.

Danny shook his head. "Thanks, Mac," he whispered, "but I think that I need to do this on my own."

Mac smiled reassuringly. "It's okay," he replied. "Just remember that I'm here for you, Danny. You know that my door is always open to you."

Danny nodded and got to his feet. "I'm leaving today," he said, walking across the room. "I shouldn't be gone too long."

"Take as long as you want." Mac rose as well and moved back around to the other side of his desk. Danny turned and opened the door. "I'm sorry for your loss, Danny," he said sadly.

Danny glanced back, giving him a watery smile. "Thanks, Mac," he whispered.

x

"We are gathered here today to bid a final farewell to our beloved friend and fallen officer, Timothy Speedle."

Danny's eyes remained glued on the casket in front of him throughout the entire funeral service. Horatio had been very kind in ensuring that Danny didn't have to deal with Tim's death on his own. Danny wasn't sure how Horatio knew about Tim and Danny's relationship but he was grateful for the support so he didn't question it.

As the casket was lowered into the ground, Danny couldn't help but wonder at the irony as his lover was sent off into the next life the same way he was taken away; guns blazing.

Danny arrived home the day after the funeral to find only two messages on his answering machine. The most recent message was from Mac asking him to call him as soon as he arrived back in the city to let him know that Danny got home safely.

The second message was from someone who's voice Danny didn't think he'd hear ever again. "Hey," Tim's voice said from the machine, stopping Danny in his tracks as he peeled off his jacket. Danny stared in shock as Tim's message continued playing. "I don't even know why I called you at home," Tim was saying. "I know you're probably at work, I just wanted to hear your voice before I headed out. I should probably call your cell phone. I'll talk to you later," Tim said before a beep indicated that the message was over.

Danny pressed the play button again, tears falling as he listened to the message a second time. He didn't know when the message had been recorded, he could only assume that it was before Tim had called him on his cell and he was only hearing it now because he had been to exhausted to listen before.

Still sobbing, Danny took the tape out of the machine and headed into his bedroom. He threw open his closet and pulled out a shoe box. Tossing the dress shoes back into the closet he placed the tape in the box before setting it aside on his bed and pulling his bag closer. He reached into a side pocket and pulled out a few items Horatio had given him from Tim's apartment. Mostly it was just stupid little things like Tim's watch and some cufflinks that had been laying on Tim's dresser.

Danny had almost lost it when Horatio had come to him and placed Tim's badge in his hands. Horatio had told him that, while it wasn't necessarily standard procedure, Horatio knew that Tim would want Danny to have it in the circumstances. Danny was hesitant to accept it, arguing that Tim's family should have it instead. Horatio had ignored his arguments and assured him that he would make it so that Tim's family never found out that they didn't have Tim's real badge.

Danny's fingers curled around the badge so tightly that his knuckles turned white. "Oh god," he whispered, more tears falling. "I miss you, Tim," he added, pressing his lips against the star, before placing it inside the box.

_I wish you didn't go_

_I wish you didn't go away_

_To touch you again,_

_With life in your hands_

**Could it be any harder - The Calling**

The End

/lj-cut


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